Duncan Disordely
Player Valuation: £35m
I was bored so decided to start doing a 2012 Everton review, however even doing just January turned into a bit of an epic. If there's an appetite for it, I will try to do another month each night if I can. Or if anyone else is interested in doing subsequent months, let me know and feel free to add to the thread. 
Anyway, this is my first attempt at doing something like this, so i hope you enjoy.
Everton FC 2012 Review
January
The year began in a sad fashion for Blues everywhere as ex-player and youth team coach lost his long battle with cancer on January 1st. RIP Gary.
After yet another poor start to the season, results had improved slightly through November and December leaving the Blues sitting 12th in the league on 21 points, although we were still considerably closer (6 points) to the bottom 3 than the top 4 (15 points).
The previous few transfer windows had been disastrous for Everton, in fact, once the Lescott money had been used up in the summer of 2009, Everton hadn’t spent money on a permanent first team player since. We had patched up a squad using freebies, loans and youth players, during a time that we sold Mikel Arteta, Yakubu and Jermaine Beckford. All the talk was who would be next to balance the books, and yet again Evertonian’s were dreading the transfer window.
Their mood could hardly have been lifted by an insipid performance in a generally poor game on New Years Day away to West Brom. A late Victor Anichebe goal (his first in the league in two years) was enough to nick the points for Everton, and leave the Owl (everyone is fond of Owls) look-a-like Roy Hodgson banging his head (literally) against a wall.
It had been announced in December that Landon Donovan was to return for a second two month loan to the Blues 2 years after his successful first stint in which he scored twice and was Man of the Match for January, helping turn the clubs form around.
Landon made his second debut in a match that will haunt Evertonian’s for a long long time. A season low attendance of 29000 fans witnessed a game played in near hurricane conditions, in which after a freak Tim Howard goal (assist: The Wind) on 63 minutes, Everton contrived to be out-fought, out-played and out-shot by a Bolton team that was destined for the drop. Ex-R’s laughing stock David N’gog and in his last match in a Bolton Shirt, Gary Cahill, won the game for Bolton. Although the crossbar saved a last minute equalizer from a Leighton Baines free kick, a point would have been far more than we deserved.
Around the time of this defeat rumours began to spread that we were going to spend some money. Actual cold hard cash. Filthy dirty wonga. Who was this superstar that Everton were going to break the bank to sign???? Darron Gibson. Oh. So that’s where the Arteta money went Bill? To say Evertonian’s were underwhelmed would be, well an understatement. We were to sign an injury prone midfielder from United, who had done so well for them that he had to delete his twitter account barely two hours after starting it due to abuse from United fans. It had to be a false report, surely?
In the days that followed, Everton faced what should have been a straight forward FA Cup 3rd round tie against Blue Square Premier side Tamworth. An early John Heitinga goal didn’t lead to the expected floodgates, and Tamworth put up a good showing for a side 95 places below us in the league, until a late, soft, penalty was scored by Leighton Baines. This match was most noteworthy for the tribute Everton and the fans put on in the memory of Gary Ablett that was attended by his wife and five children and by former team mates and managers.
Next up for the Toffee’s in a very busy January was a trip to White Hart Lane for a game postponed from the opening day of the season due to that Summer’s Riots. A trip to the Lane has often been a tough fixture for Everton and this was no different against a high flying Spurs side that lay 3 points of Man City at the top of the table. This was before Melt-face Redknapp was linked with the soon to be vacant England job and their form imploded. Louis Saha had early chances for Everton, but he had long since retired from scoring for Everton, and as we often see, missed Everton chances often result in a defeat. A first half Lennon goal and a 30-yard second half rocket from Assou-Ekotto sealed the points for Spurs. An injury to Sylvain Distin resulted in young Irish centre back Shane Duffy getting his first Premier League appearance after being recalled from loan due to a Phil Jagielka injury. Duffy did little wrong during the game, and Evertonian’s were looking forward to seeing more of their young star.
On Friday 13th January Darron Gibson signed for Everton for an undisclosed amount, but rumoured to be an initial £500,000. The general response from Evertonian’s was on of “Mehâ€, apathy was the order of the day, served up with a side of “not arsedâ€. Darron’s first game for Everton was on the following day as Everton travelled to face one of the poorest Aston Villa sides I’d seen during the Premier League era.
Gibson controlled the midfield early on, without really seeming to do a lot. If he wasn’t exactly spectacular, he wasn’t poor either, and gave the midfield a platform from which to play. Shane Duffy was yet again deputizing in defence due to the injuries sustained by Jags and Distin. Missed opportunities by the perennially misfiring Saha, and a last minute saving tackle by RR Drenthe on Albrighton meant that the sides went in at half time level, with Moyes maybe the happier manager. Second half, Duffy struggled to clear a cross that ended up falling to Stephen Ireland who laid it off for Marcus, sorry Darren Bent. Taking a deflection of the leg of Phil Neville, the ball looped up over a helpless Tim Howard into the back of the net. Moyes took off the ineffective nut-job Drenthe for Anichebe who ran on to a brilliant ball from the outstanding Landon Donovan to bag an equalizer. Both managers went away from the game feeling the 3 points were there for the taking. Evertonian’s went away happy with the performance of Donovan and maybe a little more reassured about Gibson.
With all seemingly quiet on the transfer front, Everton then faced the Chicken Farming Blackburn Rovers, a side who fell into free-fall after the inexplicable sacking of long ball merchant and former Moustache aficionado Big Sam by new owners Venkys. How his successor Steve Kean had even lasted this long was a surprise to everyone. 3 points must surely come. Well no. After Tim Cahill’s first Everton goal for 34 games stretching over a year (via a handball pass from Fellaini), Tim Howard fumbled a free kick from Pederson that Cahill smashed off the line straight into Goodwillie and back into the net. Everton had chances to win the game, but even the late introduction of Beauty and the Beast (Vellios and Stracqualursi) failed to see a winner, Shane Duffy going closest with a header onto the crossbar.
Respite from our league travails came in the form of a home FA cup tie against the league’s biggest Wacko Jacko fan’s, Fulham. Due to our neighbours also being drawn at home that weekend, we were forced to play a Friday night match. Howard Webb was the only non-Fulham person in the ground to think that a sliding John Heitinga deliberately got his arm in the way of a 14th minute Chris Baird shot. Ex-Rs Danny Murphy sent Tim Howard the wrong way, and dreams of another run to Wembley seemed to be fading as fast as any of a top 10 finish in the league. The goal, however sparked Everton into life. Duffy could have had two, and Cahill came close, but to a man, every Everton fan, whether at Goodison or home was delighted when Loan signing Stracqualursi leaped onto Donovan’s cross to equalize. The Stracq had been a bit part player to this point, all hard work and effort, not very much skill. He wheeled away in obvious delight, and his colleagues quickly mobbed him. A Legend was born. Stracq had an excellent chance to bag a second, but could only send a second halve volley high and wide into the waiting Gwladys Street. Donovan broke free and whipped in yet another pinpoint cross onto the head of resident Belgian Afroman Fellaini, who looped the ball over the keeper to take Everton into the draw for the 5th round.
The draw for the Cup saw the Blues up against Ian Holloway’s Tangerine Army at home. However Evertonian’s minds were elsewhere. Rumours had started to filter through that Everton were about to sign Nikica Jelavic from Rangers. Having signed for Ranger for £4million on a 6 year contract in August 2010, many fans doubted this deal could happen. Rangers financial situation was unknown at this point, so fans who wanted him doubted we could afford it, while many other fans just weren’t interested in signing a player from a league equivalent to our Championship or worse. Jelavic had a scoring record of 30 in 45 games for Rangers, but questions were asked of his ability to do it against top class teams.
The final day of the month, and the last few hours saw us up against a team we have had a lot of great recent performances, taking 7 victories out of the last 9 fixtures. However a shift in fortunes had crept in since Moyes ridiculous “Knife to a gunfight†comment before a 2-0 defeat earlier in the season. Night games at Goodison Park are usually special, especially against the “big teams†or our rivals. This was no exception, and the Goodison faithful were further buoyed by the announcement that we had indeed signed Jelavic. With an initial fee rumoured to be as low as £3million, rising to £5Million and signed for 4 ½ years a lot of expectation was put onto those Croation shoulders. However due to the late signing, he was ineligible to play against City.
Duffy was out, Hibbertihno was in as a Centre back alongside Heitinga. Our knife was suddenly looking like a one made out of playdough, facing the combined weaponry of the USA. However one man hadn’t read the script. Denis Stracqualursi put in an almost virtuoso performance of energy, power, hard-work and sheer effort. By the time he went off to a standing ovation in the 88th minute he was as spent as Stan Collymore in your local car-park. Kompany and Lescott have probably never had as tough day up against one forward, and it got that bad that Lescott was swapped for Kolarov.
The match will also be remembered for a couple of other things; an R’s supporting Clown-shoes with a beef against Ryanair decided that the best way to protest this was to handcuff himself to one of the goalposts during the first half. Bellwhiff. Stewards eventually removed him and the game continued. Hibbert put in a stellar display at the back, and when Jelavic was introduced to the crowd at half time, the crowd was whipped up into a frenzy. We started to wonder, could we nick this? What a result if we could. For once Drenthe made the right decision and laid it off to the ever reliable Baines. His deep cross, via a Cahill flick on, found the yet again outstanding Donovan who looked up and squared it to the advancing Gibson. He drilled an effort in from the edge of the area that took the slightest deflection of a city player and into the net. Cue mayhem. Absolute mayhem. Goodison erupted. Gibson was ecstatic and slid half way down the pitch on his knees to be mobbed by the rest of the team. Everton defended stoutly, and not even a late penalty shout off a shot that hit Neville’s arm could stop the party. It was a magnificent victory, and a great way to end the month.
[video=youtube;MMNzl7Vjk_s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMNzl7Vjk_s[/video]
But that wasn’t all. There was another hour or so of the transfer window left. Could we do any more business? Yes, yes we could. Saha had played his last game for us and left to join Tottenham for a small fee. In return we saw the return of Steven Pienaar on loan until the end of the season. The deal didn’t go through until the final minutes of the transfer window, but things were finally looking up.
Everton finished the month in 9th place on 29 points, taking a poor 8 points out of a possible 18. It was another difficult month and to say we were satisfied would be a lie, however there was a renewed sense of hope around the side. We’d signed players for money, offloaded Saha, were through to the 5th round of the FA cup, and beaten Man City.
Anyway, this is my first attempt at doing something like this, so i hope you enjoy.
Everton FC 2012 Review
January
The year began in a sad fashion for Blues everywhere as ex-player and youth team coach lost his long battle with cancer on January 1st. RIP Gary.
After yet another poor start to the season, results had improved slightly through November and December leaving the Blues sitting 12th in the league on 21 points, although we were still considerably closer (6 points) to the bottom 3 than the top 4 (15 points).
The previous few transfer windows had been disastrous for Everton, in fact, once the Lescott money had been used up in the summer of 2009, Everton hadn’t spent money on a permanent first team player since. We had patched up a squad using freebies, loans and youth players, during a time that we sold Mikel Arteta, Yakubu and Jermaine Beckford. All the talk was who would be next to balance the books, and yet again Evertonian’s were dreading the transfer window.
Their mood could hardly have been lifted by an insipid performance in a generally poor game on New Years Day away to West Brom. A late Victor Anichebe goal (his first in the league in two years) was enough to nick the points for Everton, and leave the Owl (everyone is fond of Owls) look-a-like Roy Hodgson banging his head (literally) against a wall.
It had been announced in December that Landon Donovan was to return for a second two month loan to the Blues 2 years after his successful first stint in which he scored twice and was Man of the Match for January, helping turn the clubs form around.
Landon made his second debut in a match that will haunt Evertonian’s for a long long time. A season low attendance of 29000 fans witnessed a game played in near hurricane conditions, in which after a freak Tim Howard goal (assist: The Wind) on 63 minutes, Everton contrived to be out-fought, out-played and out-shot by a Bolton team that was destined for the drop. Ex-R’s laughing stock David N’gog and in his last match in a Bolton Shirt, Gary Cahill, won the game for Bolton. Although the crossbar saved a last minute equalizer from a Leighton Baines free kick, a point would have been far more than we deserved.
Around the time of this defeat rumours began to spread that we were going to spend some money. Actual cold hard cash. Filthy dirty wonga. Who was this superstar that Everton were going to break the bank to sign???? Darron Gibson. Oh. So that’s where the Arteta money went Bill? To say Evertonian’s were underwhelmed would be, well an understatement. We were to sign an injury prone midfielder from United, who had done so well for them that he had to delete his twitter account barely two hours after starting it due to abuse from United fans. It had to be a false report, surely?
In the days that followed, Everton faced what should have been a straight forward FA Cup 3rd round tie against Blue Square Premier side Tamworth. An early John Heitinga goal didn’t lead to the expected floodgates, and Tamworth put up a good showing for a side 95 places below us in the league, until a late, soft, penalty was scored by Leighton Baines. This match was most noteworthy for the tribute Everton and the fans put on in the memory of Gary Ablett that was attended by his wife and five children and by former team mates and managers.
Next up for the Toffee’s in a very busy January was a trip to White Hart Lane for a game postponed from the opening day of the season due to that Summer’s Riots. A trip to the Lane has often been a tough fixture for Everton and this was no different against a high flying Spurs side that lay 3 points of Man City at the top of the table. This was before Melt-face Redknapp was linked with the soon to be vacant England job and their form imploded. Louis Saha had early chances for Everton, but he had long since retired from scoring for Everton, and as we often see, missed Everton chances often result in a defeat. A first half Lennon goal and a 30-yard second half rocket from Assou-Ekotto sealed the points for Spurs. An injury to Sylvain Distin resulted in young Irish centre back Shane Duffy getting his first Premier League appearance after being recalled from loan due to a Phil Jagielka injury. Duffy did little wrong during the game, and Evertonian’s were looking forward to seeing more of their young star.
On Friday 13th January Darron Gibson signed for Everton for an undisclosed amount, but rumoured to be an initial £500,000. The general response from Evertonian’s was on of “Mehâ€, apathy was the order of the day, served up with a side of “not arsedâ€. Darron’s first game for Everton was on the following day as Everton travelled to face one of the poorest Aston Villa sides I’d seen during the Premier League era.
Gibson controlled the midfield early on, without really seeming to do a lot. If he wasn’t exactly spectacular, he wasn’t poor either, and gave the midfield a platform from which to play. Shane Duffy was yet again deputizing in defence due to the injuries sustained by Jags and Distin. Missed opportunities by the perennially misfiring Saha, and a last minute saving tackle by RR Drenthe on Albrighton meant that the sides went in at half time level, with Moyes maybe the happier manager. Second half, Duffy struggled to clear a cross that ended up falling to Stephen Ireland who laid it off for Marcus, sorry Darren Bent. Taking a deflection of the leg of Phil Neville, the ball looped up over a helpless Tim Howard into the back of the net. Moyes took off the ineffective nut-job Drenthe for Anichebe who ran on to a brilliant ball from the outstanding Landon Donovan to bag an equalizer. Both managers went away from the game feeling the 3 points were there for the taking. Evertonian’s went away happy with the performance of Donovan and maybe a little more reassured about Gibson.
With all seemingly quiet on the transfer front, Everton then faced the Chicken Farming Blackburn Rovers, a side who fell into free-fall after the inexplicable sacking of long ball merchant and former Moustache aficionado Big Sam by new owners Venkys. How his successor Steve Kean had even lasted this long was a surprise to everyone. 3 points must surely come. Well no. After Tim Cahill’s first Everton goal for 34 games stretching over a year (via a handball pass from Fellaini), Tim Howard fumbled a free kick from Pederson that Cahill smashed off the line straight into Goodwillie and back into the net. Everton had chances to win the game, but even the late introduction of Beauty and the Beast (Vellios and Stracqualursi) failed to see a winner, Shane Duffy going closest with a header onto the crossbar.
Respite from our league travails came in the form of a home FA cup tie against the league’s biggest Wacko Jacko fan’s, Fulham. Due to our neighbours also being drawn at home that weekend, we were forced to play a Friday night match. Howard Webb was the only non-Fulham person in the ground to think that a sliding John Heitinga deliberately got his arm in the way of a 14th minute Chris Baird shot. Ex-Rs Danny Murphy sent Tim Howard the wrong way, and dreams of another run to Wembley seemed to be fading as fast as any of a top 10 finish in the league. The goal, however sparked Everton into life. Duffy could have had two, and Cahill came close, but to a man, every Everton fan, whether at Goodison or home was delighted when Loan signing Stracqualursi leaped onto Donovan’s cross to equalize. The Stracq had been a bit part player to this point, all hard work and effort, not very much skill. He wheeled away in obvious delight, and his colleagues quickly mobbed him. A Legend was born. Stracq had an excellent chance to bag a second, but could only send a second halve volley high and wide into the waiting Gwladys Street. Donovan broke free and whipped in yet another pinpoint cross onto the head of resident Belgian Afroman Fellaini, who looped the ball over the keeper to take Everton into the draw for the 5th round.
The draw for the Cup saw the Blues up against Ian Holloway’s Tangerine Army at home. However Evertonian’s minds were elsewhere. Rumours had started to filter through that Everton were about to sign Nikica Jelavic from Rangers. Having signed for Ranger for £4million on a 6 year contract in August 2010, many fans doubted this deal could happen. Rangers financial situation was unknown at this point, so fans who wanted him doubted we could afford it, while many other fans just weren’t interested in signing a player from a league equivalent to our Championship or worse. Jelavic had a scoring record of 30 in 45 games for Rangers, but questions were asked of his ability to do it against top class teams.
The final day of the month, and the last few hours saw us up against a team we have had a lot of great recent performances, taking 7 victories out of the last 9 fixtures. However a shift in fortunes had crept in since Moyes ridiculous “Knife to a gunfight†comment before a 2-0 defeat earlier in the season. Night games at Goodison Park are usually special, especially against the “big teams†or our rivals. This was no exception, and the Goodison faithful were further buoyed by the announcement that we had indeed signed Jelavic. With an initial fee rumoured to be as low as £3million, rising to £5Million and signed for 4 ½ years a lot of expectation was put onto those Croation shoulders. However due to the late signing, he was ineligible to play against City.
Duffy was out, Hibbertihno was in as a Centre back alongside Heitinga. Our knife was suddenly looking like a one made out of playdough, facing the combined weaponry of the USA. However one man hadn’t read the script. Denis Stracqualursi put in an almost virtuoso performance of energy, power, hard-work and sheer effort. By the time he went off to a standing ovation in the 88th minute he was as spent as Stan Collymore in your local car-park. Kompany and Lescott have probably never had as tough day up against one forward, and it got that bad that Lescott was swapped for Kolarov.
The match will also be remembered for a couple of other things; an R’s supporting Clown-shoes with a beef against Ryanair decided that the best way to protest this was to handcuff himself to one of the goalposts during the first half. Bellwhiff. Stewards eventually removed him and the game continued. Hibbert put in a stellar display at the back, and when Jelavic was introduced to the crowd at half time, the crowd was whipped up into a frenzy. We started to wonder, could we nick this? What a result if we could. For once Drenthe made the right decision and laid it off to the ever reliable Baines. His deep cross, via a Cahill flick on, found the yet again outstanding Donovan who looked up and squared it to the advancing Gibson. He drilled an effort in from the edge of the area that took the slightest deflection of a city player and into the net. Cue mayhem. Absolute mayhem. Goodison erupted. Gibson was ecstatic and slid half way down the pitch on his knees to be mobbed by the rest of the team. Everton defended stoutly, and not even a late penalty shout off a shot that hit Neville’s arm could stop the party. It was a magnificent victory, and a great way to end the month.
[video=youtube;MMNzl7Vjk_s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMNzl7Vjk_s[/video]
But that wasn’t all. There was another hour or so of the transfer window left. Could we do any more business? Yes, yes we could. Saha had played his last game for us and left to join Tottenham for a small fee. In return we saw the return of Steven Pienaar on loan until the end of the season. The deal didn’t go through until the final minutes of the transfer window, but things were finally looking up.
Everton finished the month in 9th place on 29 points, taking a poor 8 points out of a possible 18. It was another difficult month and to say we were satisfied would be a lie, however there was a renewed sense of hope around the side. We’d signed players for money, offloaded Saha, were through to the 5th round of the FA cup, and beaten Man City.
