So it begins....Lord Nelson! Lord Beaverbrook! Sir Winston Churchill! Sir Anthony Eden! Clement Attlee! Henry Cooper! Lady Diana! Maggie Thatcher - can you hear me, Maggie Thatcher! Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of a beating!
Our (that's right 'our') boys head to Norway for Roy's first game in charge. Yes, it's a friendly, yes it's a bit pointless, and yes Baines will probably play.
What do you think of when you think of Norway? It's the crappest of the Scandinavian countries isn't it? Iceland has Bjork, Sweden has IKEA and hot chicks, Denmark has the original Lego Land, and Finland has The Finn Fan. Norway has:
Well done Morten well done.
As a football nation they have had some good times against England, most times when England have had people like Geoff Thomas and Gary Charles playing. That reminds me of a game me and mate used to play. How many players can you name who's last name is also a first name? We started that game in 2005 and it's still going now.......JOHN TERRY.
Norway didn't make Euro 2012. Denmark and Portugal smashed them all over the show and they finished third in their group.
Having said that they will still take this game seriously as they love getting one over on us and giving us one hell of a beating.
Stand out players for Norway will be Morten Gamst Pedersen (Chico says he's joining us) and Mohammed Abdellaoue who sounds about as Norwegian as Bluejock. As you can guess they aren't packed with stars anymore. John Carew doesn't even get a game nowadays.
So, England. Christ knows to be honest. The Chelsea players havenâ€™t joined up with the squad yet so (are they still drunk or what?!) that should see Lescott and Jones at the back I would think. Baines at left back and it wouldnâ€™t surprise me to see Jags at right back as Glen Johnson is a bit poorly or something. It seems international managers think he can play there even though he's better in goal than in that position.
No matter who plays, no matter what result, Roy Hodgson will be under major spotlight after a meaningless game. The players are coming out saying they know how he wants them to play, so it will be interesting to see if Roy has just said 'remember that Italian bloke and how boring we were....yeah? play like that/don't play like that'. Delete as appropriate there.
Let's spare a word for John Ruddy. Broke his finger in training so is out of the tournament. Gutted for him as he's become more than a capable keeper since he left us. He will be replaced by Jack Butland. That's right, Jack Butland who played for Cheltenham Town last season is going to the Euros. Kept 11 clean sheets in 24 games last season........in League 2. In case you don't know he looks like this:
He won't play anyway so stop taking the p*ss other nationalities. I bet Laurent Blanc doesn't know who he is either. Sacre bleu.
Win, lose or draw this, it doesn't really matter. Despite what the press say afterwards. Wins breed confidence though and that's something this England team needs as it is lacking in talent in nearly every department. Especially in the forward line. Let's hope this guy forgets who is and where he came from.....
INGUUURLAAAANNNNDD INGUUURLAAAANNNNDD INGUUURLAAAANNNNDD INGUUURLAAAANNNNDD