Ramiro Funes Mori

[Bigmaclad]

How long have you been working on that?

 

[RFUS]

How long have you been working on that?

About 7 minutes.

Or about 1.5 gos on yer mar.

 

[Bigmaclad]

About 7 minutes.

Or about 1.5 gos on yer mar.

BANTS

I'm impressed, I was expecting at least 15

 

[RFUS]

BANTS

I'm impressed, I was expecting at least 15

I can write tosh at an incredible speed, mate. Especially during the transfer window.

 

[Bigmaclad]

I can write tosh at an incredible speed, mate. Especially during the transfer window.

Do you write for the Daily Star

 

[RFUS]

Do you write for the Daily Star

Too far.

 

[Bigmaclad]

Too far.

I thought it was pretty good.

What is going on with this? You reckon Martinez has seen him in training and thought "actually, he's tosh."

 

[RFUS]

I thought it was pretty good.

What is going on with this? You reckon Martinez has seen him in training and thought "actually, he's tosh."

Just slow paperwork I reckon.

We're pretty hideous at business things but I seriously doubt it's going to fall through, as we'll be left with 2 senior CBs. And only 1 who wants to actually be here.

 

[Bigmaclad]

Just slow paperwork I reckon.

We're pretty hideous at business things but I seriously doubt it's going to fall through, as we'll be left with 2 senior CBs. And only 1 who wants to actually be here.

This is Everton we're talking about here

 

[RFUS]

This is Everton we're talking about here

Fair point.

Well my last verse said he was going to Stoke, so I've got my bases covered anyway.

 

[Bigmaclad]

Fair point.

Well my last verse said he was going to Stoke, so I've got my bases covered anyway.

I'll look forward to him scoring a header against us

 

[monty]

WHOA, Monty! Where you been, lar? Welcome back!

Ok pal, just called by to confirm I'm not dead, yet ha ha ha

 

[Prevenger17]

I like this kid. Can play with both feet, great turn of pace, can spot a pass.

 

[evo1878]

I can write tosh at an incredible speed, mate. Especially during the transfer window.

Thank you. You took my mind off the whole transfer window for 15 seconds reading that.

 

[bourneblue]

Gather round one and all, let me tell you a story
About a young man named Ramiro Funes Mori.
Born to a family of football, with his twin brother,
Who happened to get Ramiro into a bit of bother.

A comical case of mistaken identity,
Made his initial footballing years, a little bit sh1tty.
But he maintained to the fans that it was not he,
Rather it was his brother, the other Funes Mori.

Cursed by his name, he didn't stay down for long,
Showing his defensive assets; he was brave, smart and strong
River Plate fans were very glad he never gave up,
As soon enough he was helping them lift cup after cup.

Bobby Martinez, booting up Football Manager 2015,
Saw the phenomenal potential, of this young Argentine.
He got on the phone to the biggest blue of them all,
He scrolled to Kenwright's number, and gave him a call.

"Bill, I've found finally him. He's the new Antolin,
He's tall, tanned and handsome; he makes my head spin."
"Sounds great Roberto, but you've left out one key detail"
"Bill, he'll cost an eighth of what we get for John Stones' sale".

And so the Funes express set its course for L4,
The poor River Plate fans, how their tears did pour.
The numbers were settled, the deal was agreed.
Only paperwork stood in the way of our defensive need.

With deadline day hype turned up to the max,
That pesky Everton nemesis returned: the dreaded fax.
With it all on the line, the cursed machine broke,
And that is how Funes Mori, was welcomed to Stoke.

Where after 6 months he was hailed as a flop,so back to river plate did poor Mori trot.
The fans were ecstatic their star man was back, driving a daiwoo he bought with his cash.